I am a church planter of five years and a 38-year-old mother of three amazing children, ages 10, 11, and 12. I was truly saved through childbearing (1 Tim. 2:15). For me, becoming a mother was a no brainier. It was simple: marriage is my first ministry and children are my first disciples.
One thing that took me by surprise was the assault against my ego and self-image. I had only been married a year when I found out that I was pregnant. I was excited, but quickly became discouraged and exhausted. Pregnancy betrayed my pride. I couldn’t remember ‘everything’ anymore. I couldn’t work endlessly. I couldn’t speak without mixing up my words. I couldn’t reign in my emotions and be the confident, hard-working, necessary, fine-tuned instrument for Jesus I once was. I was just me. Unfortunately, I didn’t like me, nor even know who I was. That was when I began the long, painful journey of self-discovery.
As my family grew, I held on to two bits of advice that acted like floaties in this ocean called:
1) When you and your husband are in ministry, he will probably get to do all the ‘things’ when the family is young. Hold on, your time will come. Be supportive and focus on what’s in front of you because this season will end before you are ready.
2) Forgive your husband before you say, “I do.”
These words pushed me along and encouraged me. Every lonely afternoon, every sleepless night, every time I had to go it alone, every time I resented my husband’s “freedom.” Knowing that God is “the God who sees me” (Gen. 16:13), and my faith being based on my belief in forgiveness, I was able to hold on through every trial.
“Rejoice in our suffering!” said Paul. “It builds character!” he said. He’s never gotten thrush from nursing a child, but I choose to trust His wisdom. Being a mom has helped to shape my character, and I am grateful for that. I choose to live by faith and love with grace, and grace has raised me into who I am today: the mom in a family that glorifies God. It is truly by grace that we are saved." (Eph. 2:8)- Monica Reynosa
